Encouraged by one of my patients to do a 54-day novena, I step back into a Catholic ritual well known to me as a child, but now as distant as my 14 years away from the Church. This blog chronicles my inner journey during the novena and an attempt to heal my heart of the issues that caused me to leave the Church.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Day 3: Entering the Glorious Mysteries
Day 3: I enter the Glorious Mysteries. It is morning, my first day back to work in 9 days. I move right back into my routine...throw the covers back, turn the heat up, and flip on the coffee. I've put a tiny Post-It by the coffee pot.
ROSARY
I don't need the Post-It this morning. I have been looking forward to saying the rosary this morning. I don't know how long the "newness" will last; I figure at some point, I may need to push to make it happen.
Prayer is like exercise or meditation. It requires discipline and commitment.
Something new I found during my research of the 54-day novena is the prayer for petition, which may be said during the first 27 days of the novena. It was mentioned on a Catholic forum and the site source was listed as http://www.prayerflowers.com/54DayNovena.htm.
I start the petition prayer today before I recite the rosary:
My dearest Mother Mary, behold me, your child, in prayer at your feet. Accept this Holy Rosary, which I offer you in accordance with your requests at Fatima, as a proof of my tender love for you, for the intentions of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, in atonement for the offenses committed against your Immaculate Heart, and for this special favor which I earnestly request in my Rosary Novena: (Mention your request)
I beg you to present my petition to your Divine Son. If you will pray for me, I cannot be refused. I know, dearest Mother, that you want me to seek God’s Holy Will concerning my request. If what I ask for should not be granted, pray that I may receive that which will be of greater benefit to my soul.
I offer you this spiritual “Bouquet of Roses” because I love you. I put all my confidence in you, since your prayers before God are most powerful. For the greater glory of God and for the sake of Jesus, your loving Son, hear and grant my prayer. Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation."
Today it is not difficult to be present as I pray. I focus on each pearl of Glory listed below with the movement of each Hail Mary.
I feel grateful for these pearls of Glory because they enable me to concentrate on the unfolding of the Word. They enable me to imagine Mother Mary's role in this whole process. I've tried several times to put into words what I am thinking about Mother Mary at this moment, and
I'm speechless.
I am given strength when I am reminded that Mother Mary provided comfort, courage and consolation to the apostles. She is without the physical presence of her Son, and yet she mothers others in need. This wells up in my heart.
I am without my own son right now. We have what you could define as a broken relationship. I know intellectually that in his youth and his stubbornness, I may not have him in my life for a long time. If ever.
In the pain over my loss of his presence in my life, I have realized that service to others heals some of the deep wound. Mary serves the people; I serve the people.
When I imagine Mary's reunion with Jesus in heaven, I am overcome. I do not expect tears during Glorious Mysteries. I cannot help it. They just flow. It makes me think, truly, that anything is possible. Healing of a broken relationship is possible.
Even if it doesn't happen, I know that I will be given the strength to go on.
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